Today is another sad day. I think back 4 yrs ago as to what I was doing today and I remember the total emptiness and despair my heart felt. Today we gathered with friends and family and paid our respects to our precious baby, stood at his grave site, sang him his song and then I was forced to leave my baby...for good. Yeah, I knew then and know now it's only his physical body and not really him but still....it hurt. That is MY baby!!! All I wanted to do was take him out of their and hold him...forever! Instead I had to walk away and go to a gathering with everyone else. How I made it through that day is beyond me. I have wondered it many times and I just don't know how I did it. I guess we just do what we have to do. And today is no different. All I want to do is curl up on my couch and do nothing but cry and remember. But I don't get to do that. How will I get through this day? The same way I've gotten through each day for the last 4 yrs...one minute at a time.
I love you Marshmallow. You may not be here for me to hug and kiss and watch you grow and learn, but you are always in my heart baby boy. Mommy misses you so much! Send mommy some angel kisses if you can.
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